Dear Gok...A Letter from a Fauxmo

Dear Gok,

We need to talk. Not about the lack of structure in my ‘nude’ above the knee tunic dress no. And not about how to get a whole outfit from the High Street for the measly price of £200 either. We need to talk about you, Gok.

You seem like a nice chap. I like TV presenters who aren’t balding overweight white men in slacks. Or teenagers. I love your enthusiasm and energy. I think you are pretty good with people. But please. You have got to stop banging on about bangers. It’s just not on.

How To Look Good Naked sounds like a good idea in principle. It encourages women of all shapes and sizes to feel good about themselves and their bodies. To look themselves in the mirror and like what they see. But your programme, and its sister ‘Gok’s fashion fix’ are really just another way of telling women ‘it’s not who you are it’s how you look’ and I don’t like that one bit. You are kind of like Trinny and Susanna’s nicer, gayer little brother. Prodding and criticising, humiliating women and their inefficient clothes collections, however nice you may be you still manage to reinforce the idea that if only we could sort ourselves out with a 24 piece ‘capsule wardrobe’ everything would be all right.

Also Gokky my love, my darling, my angel, I thought you were supposed to be Gay? Your claim that there is nothing you don’t know about femininity makes me worry a little bit about your sexuality. If you have been spending all your formative and adult years pouring over vogue and dreaming of the perfect angle of uplift for a pair of bangers, when have you found the time or inclination to er, get cock? I know it is fashionable to be gay these days, and gay men seem to do remarkably well in the fashion world, compared to, say, football, where the last professional footballer to come out as gay ended up topping himself. But if there is something you want to tell us, we won’t hate you for it. Could it be, that actually, you like a bit of titty and pussy as well?
I mean, you can’t keep your hands off the women on your show. Naked or clothed.

The fact is, you probably are as gay as you make out. It’s ok. I can handle it. But if that is the case, could you go easy on the claims of what an expert you are in women? I suspect for example you don’t know much about period pains, or menopause symptoms, or female ejaculation. Some straight men actually have quite a lot of interest in and knowledge of these kind of things, gained by fucking, loving and living with real live women.

I think you fetishise an ultra-femininity that is all the rage in the current culture. You dress women up as drag queens then tell them they look fabulous. It gets right on my bangers. I wish you’d do a ‘How to look good naked’ about men. But then you might have to face up to your own sexuality and to the problem that only women’s bodies are deemed acceptable viewing on prime-time television. Cocks are not ok it seems. But you could at least do a Gok’s fashion fix for blokes. That wouldn’t be so difficult would it?

Come on Gok. Be a man. And start squeezing some balls instead of all these bangers.

Yours, fabulously,

Quiet Riot Girl

On behalf of all fauxmos everywhere

CONTRIBUTOR: Quiet Riot Girl

DATE ADDED: 2010-06-27 11:27:09


ITEM TYPE: Document

CITATION: Quiet Riot Girl, "Dear Gok...A Letter from a Fauxmo," in HACKGENDER, Item #6, (accessed November 27, 2015).

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Quiet Riot Girl
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